


A Dilemma - with Horne's

by Colonel_Cooper



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Civil War Ben, Drabble, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-31 02:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colonel_Cooper/pseuds/Colonel_Cooper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble detailing Audrey's conversation with Dr. Jacoby about her father's madness, with her initial father-hating character still intact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dilemma - with Horne's

“So Dr. Jacoby, my father is re-enacting the American Civil War because he’s gone absolutely batshit crazy.”

“In essence, that’s correct Audrey.”

“Brought on by him losing the opportunity to screw schoolgirls.”

“What? Screw schoolgirls?”

“He owned One-Eyed Jacks, turning _my_ classmates into _his_ hookers. Now he’s lost it, and his mind.”

“Mind-blowing indeed. And you want to help him regain his sanity?”

“Frankly, I couldn’t give a toss. I’ll run the hotel; he can play Indians with Johnny.”

“Love the attitude Audrey. I’d much rather talk about schoolgirls anyway!”

“Typical. So, did you fuck Laura as well?”

“Certainly did!”

**Author's Note:**

> The saddest thing, for me, about the dropping of the intended Cooper/Audrey romance storyline in the latter half of season 2, was the way in which Audrey's character was forced to completely change in order to give her something to do. While the 'Civil War Ben' arc was amusing at times to watch, ultimately it was a waste of Fenn's and Beymer's talents, and a waste of dramatic potential.
> 
> *Climbs down from soapbox*
> 
> Thanks to the Wonder Twins for being 'batshit crazy!'


End file.
